Canceling Amazon Prime!

Yesterday I canceled my Amazon Prime subscription. I didn’t even have clear reasons for doing so other than I was on the Reddit hate-train over Amazon as a company. A spur of the moment and rash decision that I’m mildly regretting now but know I won’t even think about it when Prime does expire in April. Whatever. It’s something you adapt to over a few weeks and you probably won’t even notice the supposed “inconvenience” after that. After all, my life was just fine for over three decades without Amazon Prime.

So in a desperate effort to conformation-bias my actions with justifications that this was totally the right thing to do and not driven by passion, let’s bitch about Amazon Prime for a little bit.

Record Earnings…and Price Hikes!

One thing noted by the Hateful Redditors was that Amazon had just reported their earnings for the year. Anyways, we’re talking massive numbers like $137 billion in revenue and $14.3 billion in profit. Profit. Pure fucking profit! No one should be surprised by this – it’s Amazon and they print money – but these numbers are totally impossible to comprehend by the average person. Basically in layman’s terms this is a bunch of fucking money.

Another thing announced: the subscription price for Amazon Prime would be increasing $20 to $139/year, around a 16% increase. I understand the reason behind the price hike – inflation, investing in more products, expanding Amazon Prime’s offerings, etc. – but really, fuck off Amazon. It’s mildly insulting to announce the massive profits you just raked in and follow that up by charging more for Prime. Does anyone care about customers anymore? Did they ever? Would it be so bad for them to lower the subscription price, even just $5 or $10, as a thank you to their customers. Say something like, “Hey guys, we made a bunch of money so we won’t charge you as much. Thanks for being loyal to us!” It’s what I’d do if I was Amazon, but I’m not Amazon.

Of course this won’t happen because capitalism and all of that. The shareholders need their money, and $AMZN is up like 15% today. I don’t think myself or others like me cancelling will make a dent in their subscribers count (and here’s an article with Amazon basically saying, “Lol, no one cancels Prime so we can raise the price! And the monthly subscribers also don’t give a shit they’re paying $180 a year!”)

Fuck Amazon as a Company

Amazon kinda sucks. It’s widely known they treat their employees like shit, and word around Reddit (take that for what it’s worth) is that Amazon is being flooded by cheap Chinese knockoff products. You also have that pompous fuck Jeff Bezos, while not affiliated with Amazon anymore, is still the de-facto face of the company. Did y’all hear about how they might remove a whole-ass bridge in Europe so his new superyacht can get through? It sounds like an Onion article, but it isn’t.

Amazon is the perfect example, along with Facebook META (lol) of how shitty capitalism can be. Like it’s a massive company that consumes smaller companies and limits competition. They’re an internet shopping monopoly that is trying to monopolize everything else it can get it’s hands on. Shipping, cloud computing, online shopping, audiobooks, and so on. One can argue that this is exactly how capitalism is supposed to work and that the consumer does benefit, and they do to a degree, but something about the power Amazon holds to the economy seems a bit extreme doesn’t it?

I currently have three Amazon packages being shipped to my house. I feel bad and hypocritical about that, but it’s so convenient! It almost seems wrong how convenient it is to drop thousands of dollars on your phone clicking buttons; shouldn’t spending that much money be difficult?, and I hate how easy it all is. It’s almost like I’m mildly addicted to my periodic Amazon shopping sprees. Obviously you can see how there’s some dissonance in my head about the previous two paragraphs and my actions. Eventually you should act in a way that resembles your beliefs and if I’m saying ‘Fuck Amazon” and hate them as a company, well, maybe I should limit how much money I give them. And Prime is a good place to start.

Do I Even Use It?

In my pre-Prime days I’d make “Amazon shopping lists” and only order when I had plenty of items lined up. By ordering in bulk you’re almost guaranteeing your order will be over $50 (I think?) and you’ll qualify for free shipping. And let’s be honest, $50 is an easy hurdle to pass. There were times where I’d ordered a box of ramen just to kick the price over $50 to get free shipping. Free shipping is free shipping and does it matter if it comes from Prime or just cheesing the system a bit?

And being honest, that was the main selling point for me: free shipping. Even at $140 a year, about $11.50 per month, it’s a decent deal. If you regularly order lower-priced items you’d be forking out a ton for shipping and saving a bunch with Prime. But that’s a big if and it isn’t very hard to get free shipping anyways if you change a few of your habits. I can easily adapt to that part.

I think there’s also “2-day shipping” or something, but if I’m anything besides cheap I’m also patient. There’s no reason I can’t wait a week or two to get something I’ve ordered. Another thing that’s easy to work around; if you’re buying for a birthday/holiday or anything else with a deadline, just don’t fucking procrastinate. Oftentimes, due to the efficiencies of our shipping systems, ground packages that aren’t rushed at all can show up in three or four days anyways. Like shit, my package will get here when it gets here and I’m fine with that. If I need something now I’ll go to the store and fucking buy it.

And what else? Amazon Music? No thanks; I have Spotify (Insert big rant about Spotify/Joe Rogan here) and I love it. Audible? Huh? Amazon TV Video or whatever it’s called? Let’s make another section about that one.

Amazon Video

Prime Video is one of our…three (?) subscription services along with Disney+ and Netflix. The kids love Disney+ and everyone else frequently watches Netflix. Amazon Prime Video is just kinda…there.

There could be a whole rant here about the inevitable creep of streaming services – things were cool when there was one or two of the damn things – but since everyone has their own service with their own shows, to watch everything you need to have a bunch of them. These costs will add up to where we’re all going to be playing regular cable prices and having the same damn thing as cable, just with streaming. Like we’ll be back to where we started, the very thing that streaming was supposed to replace, cable, will be just like cable.

Cutting down our already paltry streaming services has been on the back of my mind for the past year just out of principle – how much shit do we need to really watch? – and Prime Video would naturally be the first thing to get cut. Thanks to this price increase I have the perfect reason to commit to it. Netflix and Disney+ can stay for now and we’ll see how not having Prime Video works out for us. I think we’ll be fine. The only downside is I won’t be able to watch season 2 of The Wheel of Time. Oh no!

Also, you have to pay for a bunch of the movies on Prime to watch them anyways. Like what’s the fucking point if I still have to pay for shit? Aren’t I already paying the subscription fee? And can’t I just buy the movies without Prime anyways?

The Cancellation Process

Canceling Prime reminded me of canceling Facebook; it’s a fucking hassle and this only made me want to cancel it more. It was like Amazon was begging me to not cancel. It was kind of pathetic, like some desperate dude begging a girl to go out with him because he’s a nice guy and offers so much. “We don’t have to be dating – you don’t have to see me for a month or so – but I’m a good guy! We can just leave it up to you, if you want to go see a movie or go grab some food with me, just let me know. I’ll be here. Are you sure you don’t want to talk anymore?!”

Seriously, there were like four or five screens where you had to click, “Continue to cancel Prime” before it actually let you. They recapped all the cool shit you get with Prime, then told you you can pause the subscription at any time you want, or maybe you can go with the monthly plan so you don’t have to pay all at once, and are you really really really really sure you want to cancel?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Yes, you fucking toxic-ass person: I do not want to see you again. I do not want to talk to you again. I’m done. Just get it through your stupid skull that I’m fucking done and all you’re doing is making yourself look pathetic now. You’re begging. Begging? Really? Oh now you’re crying. Please don’t do that. Get off the ground, you’re making this awkward for both of us. And everyone is looking at us now! Jesus, please fucking stop kissing my shoes; you’re getting snot and tears all over them! You’re not even a person, you’re a subscription service!

I don’t know. If they toss me a free subscription for a month I might take it back up, especially around Christmas. I really like that idea. I can milk the company for all their free shipping and shitty TV is worth and drop them like I was using them the whole time, because I was, and feel delightful about it all.

Instagram: where I post pointless artistic pics and shitty poems daily whenever I get around to it.

My other blog where I sometimes never post stories but might get around to it sometime soonish.


19 responses to “Canceling Amazon Prime!”

  1. Em Avatar

    Great post, and props for quitting Bezos. I’m bailing too, albeit in September (annual membership 🙄). I also recently dumped Netflix for Disney. I’m trying to stop the overlap – how much TV can any group of people possibly watch? 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. TheBlackhairedGuy Avatar

      Congrats and I’m glad I have some fellows on this Primeless year of mine! And yeah, there does seem to be more to life than endlessly watching TV. An hour here or there, fine, but if it’s you’re entire life? It seems like a total waste.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Michael Thorson Avatar
      Michael Thorson

      Why wait? I cancelled and took the credit. Once the credit is used up, I’m done financing Bezo’s 454 foot yacht and the 240 foot ship that accompanies it to carry his toys.. Just read that 64 families own more than half the world’s wealth – he’s definitely the leader. Nothing wrong with capitalism, but there’s a lot wrong with greedy bastards like Bezos. I think he should get a tatoo of an asshole on his big bald head to complete the picture.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ceponatia Avatar

    I almost spit my Monster out when I saw this post title. I’ve said before that we seem to be some kind of 4th dimensional twins but I just cancelled Amazon Prime last week. I always knew I would once my student discount ended; I could continue it because I’ll be staying in school for a masters degree but I hate Amazon for a lot of the reasons you mentioned plus one: they throw away over 1,000,000 products a day. They don’t donate them, recycle them, etc. They throw them away.
    It should be noted though that Amazon makes a lot of its money through AWS as well, not just the storefront. This could help to explain the price hike. It’s still retarded but if you’re a closed-minded corporate goon who just sees departmental revenue on a spreadsheet, I guess it would make sense.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. TheBlackhairedGuy Avatar

      Great minds think alike! “Time to cancel Amazon Prime!” I knew about AWS basically printing money for the company and I’m kind of upset there isn’t any way to rebel against that. Nothing to do about that one I guess. But I did not know about them tossing away that much product, and each day too?! Jeez. There has to be a better way to use that stuff than to toss it, but that would be inefficient and cut into their bottom line, so that’s not going to happen.


  3. jkeltonga Avatar

    Cancelled my Amazon membership today. I got the same set of screens begging not to cancel, and when I read your post I was thinking, “Yeah, that is what I was thinking” lol. I was almost feeling a little guilty until I read your post and realize it is just a ploy to get you to continue giving them your hard-earned money. I have also noticed that the quality of their products is starting to decline because of all the Chinese knock-offs. I am going to give Walmart+ a try and see if it pays off or not. If not, I will drop it next year. I found your site when googling “Amazon Prime video sucks” and it’s nice to know I am not the only person who feels this way.


  4. Vern Avatar

    Feels like they got me hooked. now its time to rip me off. well im out. in the beginning there were few movies they would have you pay any thing any good we must pay more? And now the format has changed and i can’t find but a few good movies that are still free. Now can watch it free with adds. Fuck amazon. I spend huge amounts at the the store well im going to save a lot of money. No more shopping at amazon either.


  5. Rosie Avatar

    I have to agree, Amazon has raised their rates on crappy services. The movies are never any of the good ones. Those all cost money to watch. The 2 day delivery is non-existent – generally taking 5-8 days anymore and if you call to say anything they want to give you 5% off of something to say sorry. Big whoop. They are not sorry. They just want to stick it to us. Also cancelling prime was an adventure in and of itself. I kept clicking cancel prime and would get another page asking me if I was sure I wanted to cancel. Not once did they bother to ask WHY do I want to cancel. Tell them to contact me and ask me why, I’ll be sure to tell them!


  6. Siobhan Avatar

    It drives me insane that I can’t send them a reason, via email as to WHY I’m cancelling in the first place!!! I want to rag on them so badly for the whole Yellowstone bullshit. We’re moving on . . . .


  7. bernard thompson Avatar
    bernard thompson

    Fuck Amazon Prime membership 2-day shipping is gone I’ve canceled my membership their movies are all repeats I will just order $25 or more and get free shipping which probably will come sooner than having a Prime Membership people need to boycott against Prime


    1. Shar Avatar

      I’ve been paying for 2 day service of which I’ve never received anything that quickly. Always seem to be getting notifications that it’s going to be an extra few days. The whole point for me having that account is to get 2 day service.


  8. tom Avatar

    greedy fuckers shoul pay taxes for destroying our infrastructure w/delivery trucks. loser company for losers


  9. Lorraine Lott Avatar
    Lorraine Lott

    I agree wholeheartedly. Will see if I can get a refund on my prime membership from them. Otherwise will wait till it expires unfortunately.


  10. Martin Timberlake Avatar
    Martin Timberlake

    Absolutely right you have to pay for any movie that’s decent even ones you’ve watched many times in the past also nothing is available in your area it seems this movie is not available in your area this movie is not available in your area f*** Amazon


  11. Rudi Avatar

    I have a free app for movies I got off the play store, I paid a once off $19 fee to get VIP & it streams all the movies and Episodes that Amazon prime, Netflix, Disney, HBO, AppleTV, you get the idea, I’m watching The last of us, Westworld season 4, Megan, Avitar: way of water, GOT:hotd, Walking dead season 11, Bullet train, Black Adam, Black Panther, the list goes on & on, the quality is not 4ķ but mirror my device to the T.V. & it’s fine, a little bit of looking around & you can find some great streaming app’s on the Google play store for free or very small once off fee, Tubi is not bad for free but the one I got was free for 3 months then asked me for a $19 payment for VIP, I paid it & didn’t regret it one bit, I love watching all the new stuff.


  12. Rls Avatar

    I just got my kdp author’s account terminated. It’s amazing how little explanation or transparency they provide. Amazon and Bezos really treat people like total crap!!!


  13. Rls Avatar

    Bezos is a 98-pound weakling white tightass who just bullies people around.


  14. Rls Avatar

    Bezos is a 98-pound weakling white tightass who just likes bullying people around!!!


  15. Bob Avatar

    I’ve Had an account for prime sense 2015. resently I had to deal with customer service because I found out I’ve been charged for two accounts sense Oct 2021.Just tring to get a human to talk to takes a act of god. they are not there to help you they are there to defend the company and keep the money. I had to call many times. cause somehow they drop alot of calls. When I asked to speak with there supervisor all of them said they where the suppervisor. The last person I spoke to told me when I call my numbers in the computer and it conects you to someone who has all your info. they have all calls I;ve already made and that he has all notes from all my other calls, They even said they had all my history how much stuff I buy and how much I spend. I’m not dealing with an order issue I’m dealimg with a vidio account issue. Even though I’ve never ordered anything on one of the accounts,They made it clear I really don’t spend much money on Amazon so I wasnt important. I was treated as if I was stupid and anything I tryed to say was spoken over the top of I was interrupted and they just kept telling me the same thing over again. I felt like I was intenttionally provoked so that I was loose my composure so they could drop my call and say they where threatened. I didnt loose my temper enough to warrent this reaction. The employee would not listen to anything I tried to say, before I could finish a sentence they would cut me off and told its impossable for amazon to make a mistake ,that I had to sighn up to an account using my phone number, Sense my other account was under my E-mail address and both had tthe same password. I was unaware of two accounts. I didnt know about any of this until I asked customer service and asked why I couldn’t get my movies on my TV. That’s when I found out about the second account. A little looking into things I found out I was being charged for two acounts, I went to my bank statements and found out they have been charging me sense oct. 2021 for both accounts seperately. I should have paid better attention to my bank accounts. I trusted a corperation and didnt pay much atention to it. MY fault, I tried to explaine to the employee that this all started when I applied for redused rate because Im on SS.I . Sense 2021 Looking at my bank statements shows my account for 8.99 was still 8.99 .Now I also have an account at redused rate of 5.99 .When I tried to exspain this I was told it impossable for amozon to make mistakes. Even though never used that account for anything except watchingn movies that I could have watched on the other account at no extra cost. I was told it was my fault I had somehow sighned up for this account. I was also told that looking at my records that I was not a big spender.There employee wasnt there to look into the problem they where there to discourage me. 14.3 billon dollars im prophets last year.I’m not tring to take from them I just want my money returned for an account I didn’t use or know about..


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