Most Video Games Suck

Go to your local Walmart, Target, or GameStop and take a look at the games. Out of the hundreds of games they have, do any really appeal to you? Probably not. As a fan of the open-world, RPG-type games, and the Dark Souls type games, I really don’t have any intention of playing the newest Madden, FIFA, whatever NBA games there are, or the newest shoveled-out Call of Duty or whatever other kind of “shootan game” happens to have been released. I look at the multitude of video games displayed and maybe three or four actually have some appeal to me.

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I’d be willing to buy like three or four of these games…

Or worse yet, go dig around in the bargain bin at Walmart. You know where you can find the cheap $20 games. They’re all shit. Even worse is most of these games I’ve never even heard of. Fantastic Dance Party 2016, or GooberGoblins, or Zombie Shooter XXX. Whatever. I don’t remember any actual game names because they’re that shitty and forgettable. And if I’m ever in doubt I can pull up an internet search confirming my suspicions. Fantastic Dance Party has like a 6.5/10. GooberGoblins has a 3.4/10 for the PS4 but a 3.7 for the XBox One. Zombie Shooter XXX also is rated a shitty 5.5/10 but can “serve to distract you for awhile.” Even though they’re discounted, $20 is still quite a bit to play garbage. I could get a few value meals for that price.

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Cheap (and Shitty!) games. Although there are a few gems to be found.

And then there’s Grand Theft Auto V which is still $50 even though it’s a five year old game. That game doesn’t depreciate at all, what the fuck? It’s because it’s a good game.

Maybe that’s why I like to play older games. If you give games a few years you filter out all of the bullshit that existed in the past. Here’s an example. Think of some quality Nintendo 64 games. Ocarina of Time, Mario 64, Goldeneye 007. These games are fucking classics and if anyone wants to play the best games from a bygone era they don’t have any difficulties in doing so. Want to check out the best SNES games? Link to the Past. Super Mario World. Donkey Kong. Metroid. You know how it goes. The same goes with newer games too. Dark Souls, Mass Effect 2, Skyrim, San Andreas, Bioshock, and Madden 2017. Rofl that last one was a joke in case you were wondering.

The question usually comes up as to if games were actually better back then or not. You’d expect that games would naturally get better with the advent of better technology. At the very least newer games look better but that seems to have little effect on how good the actual game is. Newer games can be bigger, more complex, and have more detailed worlds and plots so they should be better, but there still seems to be a lot of shit out there.

The same seems to go for music with people usually saying that current music is shit and that past music was “better.” Like I did with video games, think of music from the 60s and see how it compares with today. You’ll probably think of The Beatles and how their music is so much more better than whatever trash is currently popular (GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG GUCCI GANG). But outside of The Beatles and The Beach Boys and a few others, you probably can’t name shit else from the 60s. Was that music actually better back then? No. Because of survivorship bias.

The way it works is that only the good stuff from the past is remembered. For 80s rock you have big names like Metallica, Guns N Roses, Poison, Motley Crue, and a few other big names. That’s all you remember because it’s all that was good and “survived” on the radio until the current day. In our minds they’re sort of all that existed and it appears to have been some classical age of music all the way back to Mozart. The same goes for video games too. Just because we had Super Mario World doesn’t mean that total shit didn’t exist in the 90s. And that total shit doesn’t have a name anymore because it’s so forgettable.

One shitty game I remember was Stunt Race FX. It was some shitty game that had “good graphics” back on the SNES era and had terrible screen rate issues. It was nearly unplayable because you’d get nauseous from trying to drive a shitty car at 10 frames per second. Apparently others didn’t think it was that bad though.

Just take a look at some games on this random list. You’ve probably never even heard of them because they’re shit. Noah’s Ark 3D? Really?

My point here is that if you want to play a newer game you have to decide between a bunch of shitty games and try to find out which ones are actually good. That’s supposed to be the role of game critics but even that has its flaws. Some games only really become good with some age and distance after they’re released. So if you’re playing older games it’s a lot easier to figure out what’s worth playing or checking out because, thanks to survivorship bias, the good games are the only ones that still “exist” to us. By playing older games you have a better chance of playing a good game, and by playing new games you take the risk of playing some utter shitty ones. I really think that’s why I stick to “classic” games and write about games when they’re old as fuck.

And even if you can find a handful of good modern games you can’t exactly play them because video games are really long.

Snowblowing (and Shoveling) Sucks

I live in Illinois and we recently had a moderately bad snow storm. It wasn’t really bad because we didn’t get two feet of snow but it was still enough snow to force you to shovel the driveway. After a certain amount of snow you just can’t reliably leave your driveway or alleyway without being stuck. And one thing that sucks more than shoveling or snowblowing is when you don’t shovel or snow blow and you get stuck in your yard. Then you have to fuck around with a shovel, bags of salt or sand, and dig your car out of whatever the fuck you got stuck in. Sometimes it’s easier to just shovel the shit than risk being stuck. That’s the kind of snow we just had.

We also live down an extended driveway/alleyway (we’re not sure what it officially is to the county) that is about 100 or 200 feet long. It’s long enough that I haven’t tried to measure the damn thing so I guessed at the distance. It’s a long way though. It’s also roughly 10 feet wide so that’s about 1,000-2,000 square feet of area that has to be shoveled. That’s a lot of shoveling.

Shoveling Sucks. It hurts your back, it’s slow, and more importantly you have to do it so you can get your vehicle to actually be able to be used. If you have money you can pay some punk-ass teenager to shovel it, or if you have even more money you can pay some guy (who will price gouge you) to plow it with his truck. But if you’re poor, well, say goodbye to your back because you’re clearing it with a shovel. Better go find yourself some Tylenol and/or Vicodins.

I used to hold snowblowing as the golden way of removing snow. That was partly because I’d have to shovel all the time and we didn’t have a snowblower. Thankfully, my dad brought over his snowblower so we could clear our driveway. I was pretty excited to not have to shovel because snowblowing is better. Right?

No, because Everything Sucks. Snowblowing is cool and all but it has its some fucking downsides. By not busting your back shoveling you gain a bunch of other downsides that are nearly as bad. Firstly, his snowblower was rather tiny and only cleared about a foot and a half wide path of snow. Doing the entire driveway took some time. In deep snow it would also shit out and die where you’d have to restart it with the pull cord. That happened about ten times.

Secondly, my god those things throw snow in a reckless manner. Shoveling allows you to put snow exactly where you want it but snowblowing just blows it wherever the fuck it wants to. We had our garage door opened and despite not trying to blow the snow inside it did it anyways. (I had to shovel it clear so the door would close.) You’d end up blowing snow where you already cleared. You’d blow snow on the porch, the walkway you just cleared, onto the vehicles, and even on the doors and windows of the house. The wind wouldn’t help matters either by blowing a cloud of cold, powdery, and wet snow all over your coat and into your face. Winter is usually a cold season so snow on your face is never enjoyable.

It’s also hard to do a good job when snowblowing. I either seemed to leave a few inches of snow underneath me or end up scrapping the hell out of our gravel driveway and tossing rocks everywhere. That really is a problem especially when you consider snow (and possibly gravel) is going everywhere like I said before. There was a small but non-zero chance of tossing a piece of gravel or a rock into a car window/house window and doing damage. And what if some poor fucker was walking down the street at the exact wrong time? That’d fucking hurt.

Oh yeah, it was also a two-cycle engine meaning I smelled like gasoline and oil afterwards. Time to wash my coat…

In the end it did it’s job admirably: it moved a fuck-ton of snow quickly and in a relatively easy manner. But don’t expect a snowblower to do a “good job” especially in areas you want really clean. I still had to get shovel the stairs and the porch and around the cars where the blower left an inch or two of snow that it just couldn’t seem to violently toss onto the side of the house. It wasn’t hard work, shoveling the remainder that is, but I originally thought snowblowing was an end-all to shoveling. It’s simple: if you snowblow you don’t shovel. And if you shovel you don’t snowblow because you don’t fucking own one. I was wrong. Apparently they’re complimentary and both of them suck in equally annoying ways.

Maybe I should move where there is no snow? Maybe that wouldn’t Suck. But it probably would.

An Update (Which Sucks)

So here’s what I’ve been up to the past few months (besides not posting a damn thing on Everything Sucks). I was working a new job which over the course of a half-year became unbearable. I worked for two package shipping companies which as you would expect was a mistake during the holiday season. I made it through peak season but instantly quit one of the jobs afterwards. Thinking about going back to that job makes me physically ill.

My sister said that motivation is like a muscle: you can only use it so much. She might’ve stolen that from somewhere so don’t blame me for stealing someone’s quote because I didn’t know about it. I suppose that working two jobs outside in the winter wore me out a bit and the blog suffered from neglect (along with my diet, my weight, my happiness, and my sobriety, etc.). I intend to change that now that I’ve quit.

A few of my older posts were rather political. Now don’t get me wrong, Donald Trump is a piece of shit and probably the worst president we’ve ever had, but there isn’t any point in blogging about it. The way I see it there is way too much political shit out there and I’m really worried that people are becoming fatigued by it. Trump Sucks, Trump Sucks day after day but we’re stuck with him so why fucking throw it up on the news nonstop. People are just to the point that they don’t give a fuck to hear anymore, or at least I am.

I took a break from the constant stream of news and toxic social media and the quality of my life improved immensely. Others should try not being exposed as much.

More to the point, why should I blog about it? As much as I’d like to think that I can change people’s minds I probably can’t. If the (“failing”) New York Times can’t get Trump supporters to change their minds with actual in-depth reporting why the fuck would some random unknown blogger such as TheBlackHairedGuy change any minds? It would be like expecting this shit to actually change my (or any anti-Trumpers) mind. It won’t and it works both ways. Their stupid shit won’t change my mind, and my stupid shit won’t change their minds.

Writing about politics itself Sucks. Trump is so goddamn all over the place I’d be chasing headline after headline and that’s exhausting. Even though it’d be “popular” to shit on Trump it’s a very cheap sort of popularity. Political posts also age very quickly and my last post about the Nazi dudes is such long forgotten news that it’s pointless to even have it up anymore. Do you even remember RyanCare? I sure didn’t.

I want Everything Sucks to be about things that Suck, but I want it to be in a fun and maybe depressing way. A sort of “Haha, life is shit, but it’s kinda funny.” So that’s what I’m going to try to stick to. And goodbye to the political posts because they Suck.

Nazis Suck: Tiki Torches

I’ve all but given up trying to deal with Trump’s shit on a moment by moment basis because of this post right here: I can’t keep up. It’s also hard work shitting on someone over and over again even if they deserve it by being a horrible human being. I have to source links, make arguments, and it’s exhausting. So I want to try something different while keeping current events and politics and our current social situation in mind. I wonder if making quick and feisty posts about current happenings might be a fun thing to try? After all, this is a relatively new blog here at Everything Sucks and I’m always trying to fine tune things. So what’s up on the current events this week recently? (I’ve been planning and going on a vacation the past week so I’ve been slacking on the nazi thingy) You didn’t even have to think of it because you already know: It’s the Charlottesville demonstrations and protests involving some Nazis and the KKK (ku klux klan) and in case you weren’t aware yet…they Suck.

They suck because of obvious reasons that don’t need to really be stated but I’ll state them briefly in case you’re stupid. Hate is a bad thing. It’s already been scientifically proven that the races are the exact same and no one is actually superior. It’s also 2017. It’s been 72 years since the end of World War 2 where us and our ally buddies defeated the original Nazis in Germany. And for all of our progress since then Nazis are still around and people still sympathize with the losers of this past war. It’s also been 150 years since the end of the civil war, and even though slavery was abolished and there was the civil rights movement in the 1960s, we’re dealing with white superiority groups and the KKK, sympathizers with the lost Confederate cause a century and a half ago. Sure, society has many equality problems to deal with still: police brutality, wage differences between males and females, minority education disadvantages, and others, but at least we’ve made it this far. We’ve made progress! Dealing with the base issues of white superiority and slavery in 2017 is just nuts. This shit is settled and has been settled for centuries, can we move on now?

I want to save the hard logic and reasoning for another post that I’ll probably never write. About how white culture or whatever isn’t really threatened at all. But for this post I want to touch on something that’s very strange and absurd. I’m sure we’ve all seen the pictures of these demonstrators and one thing in particular jumped out at me about the photographs: the tiki torches.

Like my post on covfefe, sometimes things happen that are so…stupid…that it’s hard to comprehend. In that post I argued that the president of the United States, nuclear codes and all, tweeting the word covfefe was insanely…I don’t even know…post-post-modern? Like you can’t make shit up with how ridiculous it is. Despite spell checker, online dictionaries, and even autocorrect, the word covfefe still slipped by various “checks” where it should’ve been caught and was published. He actually posted it! It’s borderline unbelievable and that’s what is shocking about it. It was harmless, but in its stupid harmlessness it screamed of gaudiness and an inability to care about spelling, the tiniest of tiny and stupid errors. Aren’t presidents above that?

And so it is with the tiki torches. Remember, white supremacists are some scary ass people. You don’t want to cross paths with them because they are dangerous as fuck. They’ll slit your throat for looking even slightly like a black person even if you’re just a pasty white dude. Scary people. Bad hombres. So you see these hateful and angry people on social media and it’s scary and saddening and it kills your faith in the future of America and people in general. And then you see the tiki torches. Your mind has a fit of cognitive dissonance as it struggles with the heirs of the Nazis and the Confederacy intellectual property holding the tacky, fun, and not-serious-at all-torches that your aunt and uncle have lit for their fourth of July festivities. People on social media are having a fit about the anger and hatred, but wait, are these terrifying people really carrying tiki torches? Huh?

Like covfefe I wonder if these morons have any idea of how society perceives them. Obviously they’re having an uphill battle in getting their grievances heard, so if I were them I’d try my hardest to adjust my image in a positive way. Everything is image. People think you’re angry, stupid, insecure white people scared of losing your culture of football, Budweiser, and Nascar. Well, prove them wrong. Tailor your image to make them think and not judge you instantly. Hell, it took months for me to figure out a logo for this blog, and to hell with it if anyone suggest a goddamn tiki torch anywhere on my page simple because it’s stupid and doesn’t fit with the image I want to create. My point is that by grabbing tiki torches you immediate undermine any sort of fear you’re intending to put on society and open your entire group up to ridicule even though it’s already being ridiculed. It’s the dumbest thing possible outside of having Easter Bunny costumes being your new uniform. Even if you hate black people and think your race and culture is endangered and may go extinct you up the stupidity to whole new level by marching with unthreatening tiki torches. If anything it makes the whole white culture thing seem really stupid.

And why fucking tiki torches? I’m assuming they were trying to go with the whole “angry mob/power-to-the-people” angle here, and popular belief does say that angry mobs carry torches. And pitchforks! Part of the reason they used torches was because they need light, they’re menacing, and that they’re easy to make. Instead if making their own torches (which seems easy enough; I’ve never made a torch but I think a stick, some oil, and a rag would suffice?) they must’ve just settled for the tikis. I don’t know. I imagine something like this happened:

 

“Man. I hate n***ers.”

“Yeah, me too. Wanna go to the white power rally?”

“Okay. I think we should bring torches though.”

“Why?”

“Because it gives it that angry mob feel. It looks threatening to those lesser races. Maybe pitchforks if we can find them.”

“I’m not a farmer; I don’t know where a pitchfork would be. Do you know to make a torch though?”

“No.”

“Well. My aunt has some over at her house that they use for the fourth of July parties they have. Where I jumped off the roof after drinking Budweiser!”

“Torches? Like real torches.”

“Nah. They’re them decorative ones, that look like they came from Hawaii or whatever.”

“That’s threatening enough, right?”

“Yeah. A torch is a torch. Who cares.” *shrugs*

“Yeah! White power!!! XD”

 

So what you end up is this.

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They still left the little cap on to put the flame out in a safe and easy manner!

A bunch of angry pissed off white dudes who are mad because other races are being treated fairly or something. I think their complaints are deeper and more complex than that, but still: angry, pissed off white dudes hold flags of people who got their asses kicked by America years and years ago. And what do they compliment their anger with? The fiery anger of theirs is represented by the hot, dangerous, and burning flame that is the tiki torch. Angry mob. White power. Heil Hitler. 4th of Julys at your aunt and uncles. Budweiser. Sparklers. A mosquito free evening. Polynesians and the tropics. Hula skirts. Leis. Moana.

Fucking morons.

Donald Trump Sucks: Transgenders in the Military

In case you weren’t aware (or to recap), our Dear Leader Mr. Donald J. Trump announced in a series of tweets back in July stating that transgender people will not be allowed to serve in the military. Okay. And today, on August 25, he apparently made it official by signing some shit or whatever banning these individuals from the military. It’s still up in the air as to if current military members will still be allowed to serve. This is Everything Sucks, and this is a really stupid policy, but what else did we expect from the president?

The policy makes zero sense. I really don’t see how it is supposed to help anything. Remember, Trump has promised to Make America Great Again, and…how does banning transgender people from the military help anything? I don’t agree with nearly all of the Trump Administration’s policies, but in a distorted way I understand how most can be seen to play into the goal of “making America great again.” Take for example coal and the environment: Trump has undone a bunch of regulations targeted to “bring back coal jobs” and while I’m skeptical of other aspects of the policy (if it’s realistic, if it’s correct given the existence of climate change, if market pressures will allow coal to become popular, etc.) I can still see how this can be seen by supporters to “make America great” by “bringing back” coal jobs. Like I said, I’m doubtful coal will ever be “brought back” or even should be brought back if it is able to be brought back, but I get how people would view Trump’s environmental deregulation as being in-line with his stated goal. If you want coal and really think that’s why the economy sucks it makes sense. But the transgender military ban? What? How does that play into Make America Great at all?

It has been said that the cost of gender reassignment surgeries and medication is one reason for the ban (the primary reason actually. According to a tweet: “…cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail.”). It doesn’t take a math wiz to realize how tiny of a drop in the budget bucket this really is though. According to this Washington Post article, transgender medical costs in the military could be up to $8.4 million annually. This, according to a study done by the Rand Corp., is an increase of 0.13% over current costs. Another popular fact to bring up (that has been brought up elsewhere) is the current costs of erectile dysfunction to the military: $84 million annually. In case you were wondering, the total military budget in 2015 was almost $600 billion. $10 million is fucking pocket change. And if Trump is really trying to cut costs by cutting transgenders from the military, he’s targeting the wrong thing. It’s like if the manager at walmart was trying to save budget costs by making the staff stop using post-it notes.

Is there another reason? I don’t know. None seem to jump out at me. Trump makes no sense and the only other reason I can see for this change in policy is to simply be a dick to people. I really think the only reason he wants to repeal Obamacare is because the word “Obama” is in the name. There seems to be no real, logical reason to ban transgenders from the military; cost is given as the primary reason but is so small as to be basically zero. If you’re going to cut costs there are countless other ways to save a few pennies. So the only alternative to the ban is to simply be a dick. I really don’t see what else the reason is. Maybe it’s some way to wage war against the PC culture or something? Either way, if you’re the president and you base policy off being a dick, you probably Suck.

Instant Karma Sucks

Imagine (or probably remember at time when) you are driving down the road, nice and comfy, with your family and/or friends with you. You have the windows down, and the music playing, and the warm summer air whips all around the cabin and you love it because life is wonderful and beautiful. It’s a great time to be alive! But then you look in the rearview mirror and some jackass dickfuck in a beat up-ass car is coming up behind you really quickly. Like he’s doing at least 30 above the speed limit. And although the road is a two-lane road, he stays in your lane, right behind you, zipping up like he’s NASCAR IRL or some shit and only swerves over and passes you when he’s seconds away from plowing into your bumper. He’s obviously drunk because when he passes you he rolls back into your lane, once again like he’s driving in a NASCAR race, and nearly runs off the road. He’s drifting all over the place and lanes apparently don’t exist to this fucker. You immediately get pissed off, and silently (or not so silently) hope that the guy wraps his piece of shit car around a tree or a telephone pole. But there’s only one problem with that: he probably won’t because Karma Sucks and is never instant.

Karma, as understood in our culture which I’ll call American Karma, is usually explained as “getting what you deserve” and in the case of drunk piece of shit above, would be flipping his car over and hitting a telephone pole. Instantly. Karma, in an Eastern sense, has a more metaphysical meaning and I don’t want to get into that here. That is about people getting what they deserve as dished out by the powers at be in the universe in a cause-and-effect relationship. If you’re a jackass, so says the American flavour of Karma, sooner or later (probably sooner) you’ll end up getting what you deserve. Except it never works that way because the Eastern version seems to be the way shit actually works.

The problem with karma seems to be that it takes a long ass time for people to get what they deserve and what they do get is some mild, watered-down form of “getting what they deserve.” This does your sense of justice absolutely zero favors. We want to see the drunken jackass flip his car or truck over immediately, when in reality karma will serve him a much more subtler dish of revenge. Most likely, him being a drunk, he might be expected to have a shitty liver and eventually succumb to cirrhosis or some other drinking related disease in a few decades. Maybe he’ll have a heart attack because of that beer belly and high blood pressure? Drinking wreaks havoc upon the body in general, so you know the guy is going to get what he deserves someday, but that’s my point: someday isn’t really soon enough to us. What’s more satisfying? Seeing a guy wreck his truck and instantly getting what he deserves or knowing that in about 50 years his health won’t be good and he’ll die slightly earlier than usual? That doesn’t feel like justice, it feels too boring to be justice. But that’s reality.

Obviously wishing bad on people probably isn’t the nicest thing you can do, but some people deserve to have bad things happen to them just because of the negativity they bring to the world. It’s simply asking (or wanting) for consequences to catch up with a person. While I was using a drunk driver as an example of a person not getting their due consequence, there are much worse people out there than the drunk. What about the child molester? Or the terrorist? Or the murderer, kidnapper, and torturer? The amount of shit they bring upon people in the world should be immediately met by the universe, so we think, with a swift and just vengeance. But sometimes these people are only met with jail time, and in a lot of cases they can get off totally free. There is no justice sometimes, and the drunk who drives down the road might go a million miles without flipping his truck, and the child molester might not be caught and be held accountable for their deeds. It’s shitty because karma, while it might take forever to work occasionally doesn’t seem to fit the deed, and sometimes it doesn’t work at all.

So next time you see the drunk fly down the road all over the lanes, you’re going to want to see him roll his truck, but he probably won’t. When someone passes you doing 30 over the speed limit you might think you’ll catch them at the next red light, but nope, it’ll be green and there will be no justice for you, the law-abiding citizen. The drunk will make it home and abuse his family without flipping his truck and the speeder will make it home 10 minutes earlier than you will. He might even get the fresh french fries at McDonalds. Sometimes a person robs a gas station and gets away scott-fucking-free and nothing happens to them. The lazy asshole at work somehow gets promoted, and the corrupt millionaire gets elected as a senator. That’s reality and Karma, while it exists in some mild form while people suffer consequences maybe, someday, it’s not Instant, not gratifying, and that fucking Sucks.

Vacation Sucks: Life Without Work

I’m currently at work having just returned from a week-long vacation, and I must say it’s pretty shitty being back. Despite me having a job so simple that I can write a blog post at work, it’s still awful being back. It’s obvious to anyone that returning to work from vacation sucks, but in a strange way it’s nice to be back. I realize Work Sucks, but looking back and realizing Vacation Sucks more than work is pretty depressing. It makes no sense, but without fail when I return to work I think my Vacation Sucked and that vacation was pretty pointless.

The Second Job: A Halfway Vacation

First up on the “Vacations Sucks” post is the gripe that I work two jobs and only have a vacation with one of them. In case you didn’t realize my “vacation” is simply time off from work and not an actual “go somewhere and do something special” thing. This might not apply to some people, and if you’re one of those lucky people who only has a single job or who can get both jobs to allow you time off to do something, well congrats because this doesn’t apply to you! Working two part time jobs like I do leaves you with the typical situation where one gives me time off when the other doesn’t. This sort of “halfway vacation” sucks for all the obvious reasons. I’m not working as much, but still working enough to make life not enjoyable, and it probably makes work and vacation suck more because of the juxtaposition of the two. Working only one job isn’t really a vacation, it’s just normal life that doesn’t suck quite as much.

Motivation? Where U Go?

The prospect of having tons of free time while off of work (even one job) always seems promising to me. I feel that by having more leisure time I would be able to focus on a few of the goals I have. There’s this blog, and my derelict blog, and I also (try to) write short stories on Wattpad. I also have a few really stupid ideas for small businesses. Obviously, I have a bunch of crap going on in my head and time is a premium when it comes to making meaningful progress on anything. Working two jobs simply makes it hard to focus and get anything done and vacation should allow me to actually be productive.

Then I was on vacation and how many blog posts did I post? Zero. How many short stories did I write? Zero. Did I work on my business plans or revamp the blog’s Facebook page. Nope. I did basically nothing. What the hell happened?

You see, having a bunch of free time seems to have the counterintuitive effect of making me less motivated. I’m assuming I’m not unique and other also have this problem. Having more time allows me to escape the feelings of doom and desperation that working two jobs fills me with, and without that awful feeling staring me down daily and hourly, I have no drive to really be successful. When I’m working and I’m miserable and my schedule is busy there is no time to worry about motivation: if you want to write a blog post you fucking write one and post it because need to get on that shit if you want to do something with your life! But on vacation you’re like “Meh. There’s no rush. I have plenty of time!” Somehow having more free time gives you less motivation and drive making the vacation look ultra-depressing and pointless, especially in retrospect. You didn’t work, and you didn’t get any hobbies or goals accomplished. You basically wasted life without actually enjoying it.

Vacation is what Life Isn’t

Despite those two previous whine sessions, they aren’t really why Vacation Sucks. They’re facets of shittiness, contributing to vacation being awful while being offshoots of the primary reason: Vacations Sucks primarily because you have to go back to work. “Yeah, no shit.” you’re probably saying, but let me elaborate.

Vacations are what we all want to achieve out of life. Vacation is not working and having enough money and time to do the things you want to do. Some even call vacation by another name: retirement. We all want to save enough money so someday we don’t have to work and can have a “perpetual vacation.” If you’re really lucky you can retire earlier or might not have to work at all. This is a perpetual vacation called “being rich.” There’s this grand idea that if you accumulate enough money you don’t have to work at all, and this laziness to not want to work might be a large driver of the world’s greed. Retirement, being rich, living off the land, and vacation all serves a single urge: not working and doing something else you’d rather do! Chase your dreams! Do what you want to do! 

So vacation is a little taste of this for the lowly lower-class worker, especially if it happens to be a paid vacation. Here you have a week with no work and you still have money. You can do whatever the hell you want (or don’t want to do) with no obligations to a job. While you might not have a ton of money and aren’t actually rich you still get a temporary taste of not having to answer to anyone. This is life without a job, and it’s pretty refreshing.

Except the dream and experience has to eventually end of course. You always have to go back to work because you’re not rich and you’re not retired. You’ll probably have to work nearly the rest of your adult life with little to no breaks and you have to do it sustainably so you don’t burn out and just fall apart. Or get so discouraged at life you kill yourself or descend into alcoholism. Life is one big grind to make money to survive and to support your family, and compared with the wonderful fantasy that is vacation, it’s awful. Vacation gives you the perspective to what life would be like if you didn’t have to work. Going back to work from vacation just hammers the point home: this is your life, you hate it, you’re stuck here. How was vacation btw?!

Making it even worse, you might not even enjoy your vacation and this leads to some more troubling thoughts. If vacation is a microcosm of being rich and not working, I’d be a fucking miserable mess. I made no progress on my blogs and business plans and whatever other stupid shit I wanted to do. I didn’t travel anywhere and I didn’t do a bunch of housework. I don’t even think I mowed the yard a single time. In fact, I spent a bunch of money on fast food, drank about 50% of the time, and gained about 5 pounds. Apparently I’d be a fat, lost, unmotivated alcoholic mess if I didn’t work my jobs, so as much as work fucking sucks, it almost seems that vacation is shittier than work. It’s like I need to work to keep my ass in line, focused, and sober. Vacation makes me realize how much work does and doesn’t suck while work makes me realize how much vacation does and doesn’t suck.

In short you can’t win. Vacation, Work, and Everything Sucks.