Dipshit Family Members Suck

About a month ago I received a Facebook friend request from someone I wasn’t really expecting: my uncle, who is like 60-something years old. It apparently took him until 2020 to get on the Facebook bandwagon, and I don’t know how anyone in this situation wouldn’t feel mildly worried.

Some background on him: he’s a retired postal worker, a big fan of guns and shit, has a conceal-carry license, loves motorcycles, and is a raging hoarder. Literally his house is unlivable because of all the shit that he stores there and he lives with my grandma because his home is so packed full of junk. While I’m not a huge fan of stereotypes, just go with me here because they’re sometimes useful, if you were to stereotype him, what would you consider him? A raging environmentally-friendly liberal sympathetic to the BLM movement or some dumbass gun-toting right-winger? Not that politics seems to be too relevant here, but recall I’m talking about him being on Facebook. Political alignment is immensely important in regards to how people act on Facebook.

I was weary when he requested me as a friend on Facebook because like most people above 50, you know they’re just going to spam political bullshit and stupid memes all the time. It’s like par for the course and I was dreading seeing what he’d post. Luckily, he didn’t really post much of anything. He kinda stayed quiet and didn’t seem to force any opinions, whatever they happened to be, onto his fellow Facebook friends. Still, part of me was weary. To me, my uncle was the stereotypical Facebook fucking proto-nutjob; sure he wasn’t a nutjob yet, but if anyone were to become a nutjob, it’d be someone like him. It felt like he was a ticking time bomb where there was only a matter of time before he went off the damn rails. Given enough time for the propaganda to work on him, he’d eventually lose it.

He still isn’t too familiar with Facebook seeing how he acts on the site. I’ve always been fascinated with ‘social media norms’ and those who break them, clueless to how things are “supposed to be done.” For example, you never like someone’s picture from five years ago (unless they share it or something) because then it’d be obvious that you were fucking lurking through their pictures. Or sending messages to people you don’t actually know really well. Things like that. Social media has a new set of rules that differ from the rest of society and this fact is new for a lot of people. That being said, my uncle, being totally clueless about how people are supposed to act on Facebook, went on displaying his insanity in a new and different way: he sends direct messages to people.

I still haven’t actually replied to any of his messages, because he never actually says anything in them. Everything I’ve received from him has been images and videos that he’s shared. No context, just a string of images/videos/memes that randomly appear in my inbox. Whatever. At first these weren’t political and were like AC/DC songs and shit, but a week ago I received this:

Okay. Once again, zero context. I agreed with the image — I think America is going down a dangerous path where something bad is going to happen (especially in regards to the recent bullshit in Portland) — but some part of me thinks even if he does agree with the image’s sentiment that it’s not in quite the same way as I do. It almost seemed threatening in a way, either implying that people like me might get murdered by people like him or that us (if we did agree) would have to go murder Americans we didn’t agree with. While I waved it off initially, something about it stuck with me. I was almost certain my uncle had finally spent enough time on Facebook to discover the radical pages that spoke to him and was now spewing his bullshit to anyone he could. He’s always seemed kinda unhinged, but now with Facebook influencing him how much worse would it get? Remember, he’s a fully armed dude who always has a fucking pistol on him, even in the safety of his my grandma’s home and at kid’s birthday parties, and I really worry about someone like that finally snapping over being enraged by Facebook propaganda.

He also recently sent my wife and I a video about…well, I’m not sure, because I didn’t fucking watch it. She did though, and I think it was some congressman questioning Dr. Fauci about why shutting down a church in Nevada was okay but the shutting down the protests weren’t. It is kinda a good question — aren’t the protests helping spread COVID? — but the entire thing seemed like fucking propaganda. Like he’s doing us a favor by ‘enlightening’ us about some GOP senator grilling Fauci. Luckily she’s more courageous than me and actually replied to him saying that she disagreed with his shit, but still appreciated him as a person and a family member. And as for me, well, I just ignore whatever he sends because I’m a coward.

My Cousin

I think this post kinda got me started down the road to deleting the dumbfucks I’m friends with on Facebook. Shortly after posting it, I started to delete anyone that I disagreed with. I still have a few conservative friends, and one I especially appreciate. He’s one of the “old school conservatives” that is worried about how Trump has kinda taken over and dictated the direction of conservative policy. These are the people I can get on board with — someone I disagree with on policy but where I can respect what they’re saying — and these people are in short fucking supply nowadays. Basically as soon as anyone posted some silly AlL lIVeS mAtTeR bullshit I’d cut ties with them because there’s little to no factual basis or policy to anything they’re saying. It’s propaganda.

Fun fact and a fact that I know is kinda wrong: I’ve been a lot happier too. No one I know on Facebook has ridiculously different views with me and we all seem to be on the same page. It’s nice, I’m living in a happy echo chamber and while I know it’s wrong, I do feel better about the state of the world. Like I can live in peace thinking that maybe 40% of the US (and people I actually know and are related to) aren’t supportive of our proto-fascist president and his ‘secret police’ in Portland and other major cities. Like, hey, maybe the world isn’t such a bad place after all?

My cousin was one of the fatalities in my purge. She lives near downtown Rockford, near the BLM protests, and would constantly post videos of the protestors with really nervous-sounding comments like her apartment would be torched sounded like someone a few steps removed from these people right here:

The protestors don’t give a fuck about you because you’re not the goddamn problem. You’re not the police and you’re not systemic racism. No one protesting gives a fuck about your shitty apartment with absolutely nothing worth stealing and every post of hers screamed of a total misunderstanding about what the protests were actually about. The total inability to see anything from someone else’s perspective, that maybe people do have lives with different struggles than you. I didn’t want the implied ignorance or negativity so I deleted her.

A few days ago I received a message on Facebook Messenger saying something like, “Hey, I noticed we’re not friends on Facebook. Did you delete me?” And like my usual style I ignored it. Sure, I act like a hardass deleting people and writing corrosive blog posts about people but that doesn’t mean I actually want to have a discussion about why I deleted someone from Facebook. Once again I’m a goddamn coward and I fully admit it.

My mom came over to visit today and she mentioned that my cousin asked her about it. She said she didn’t know and seemed to shrug it off. She also filled me in to a few of my cousins other “beliefs” such that COVID is a hoax, it’s not that big of a deal, and that Trump is actually doing a lot of good for the United States of America. Apparently she constantly visits our grandma who is 89 years old, hugs and kisses her, and obviously doesn’t give a shit about wearing a mask at all; she bragged about the amount of stores she visited without a mask as if that made her a badass or something. What if she gives COVID to our grandma and she dies from it? Would she acknowledge it then or would there be more denial. “Well, she was old anyways…” While I’m on the shit-on-my-cousin bandwagon, let me also say she’s dating a guy who’s a convicted arsonist (and it was fun seeing him on TV right after I woke up one day like ten years ago) with a family of legit white supremacists. Not like subtly racist people: legit, proud, aware, white supremacists. I vaguely recall getting into an argument with my cousin’s boyfriend’s little brother on MySpace a long time ago because he was shitting on black people for some reason. Anyways birthday parties with that side of the family are kinda awkward to say the least.

But last night it kinda clicked in my head that I really don’t like much of my family. Honestly. My sister is cool, my wife and the kids are great, but everyone else in the extended family seems to be insane. And it seems as I feel wiser as time goes on they seem to lose their minds as time goes on. My cousin’s family is white supremacists and blatant Trump supporters and I cannot for the life of me figure out what they see in the guy. My uncle is crazy NRA fanatic who seems to be ready to fight a civil war murdering fellow Americans for some fucking reason. My dad told me a few of his brothers were also right-winger Trumpers and once again I cannot see what is appealing at all about the guy. My dad, who luckily doesn’t vote, also seems to be a Trumper who somehow started bitching about Hillary and Benghazi for some reason despite over 150,000 COVID deaths under our current president. None of these people think COVID is a real thing or a legitimate threat to them, once again my cousin bragging about not wearing a mask in stores! What a goddamn rebel! Part of me thinks I’m the problem, someone just as one-sided, blind, and biased as they are, but another part of me thinks that maybe I’m on the right path here. I’m trying to follow history and science and everything seems incredibly dangerous and serious currently while others seem to be either indifferent or even happy with the state of the country now. And it’s hard to realize that maybe the people you grew up around, who are part of your family, are some of the people totally on the wrong side of logic, history, science, and empathy. It’s not a good feeling.

9 thoughts on “Dipshit Family Members Suck

  1. ceponatia

    It’s a funny world! I normally skim posts but this one was interesting, I read every line. There’s a lot I could comment on but it would almost turn into a blog post on its own (maybe I should write one?) so I’ll be brief. I have noticed a lot of the things you mentioned; I’m sure everyone has. Whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, you know objectively that a lot of people are batshit crazy zombies. Zombie is actually not a good term for them because zombies appear fairly docile. Crazy people aren’t docile. Lol.

    Your uncle seems to be a pretty stereotypical alcoholic, especially what you said about him just DMing you random videos and pictures with no context. I picture an old man in his underwear at 3AM, bottle of Wild Turkey in his lap, thinking “oh I bet he’ll LOVE this one!” or conversely “oh I bet THIS will piss him off!” (probably more likely the latter, drunks are always living off of that liquid courage).

    I wouldn’t be too concerned about that picture he sent you. People like that are all talk. He’s clearly demonstrated that he’s not willing to actually do anything with his life, positive or negative. Lol

    I don’t think that it’s being in an echo chamber that makes you feel good, it’s just not having to deal with insane people who are purposely trying to piss you off. They may not be directly targeting YOU with their posts, but that’s still what they set out to do. Nobody shares stuff like that to express an honest opinion or try to have a discussion. They just want other people to hurt as badly as they do.

    I’m borderline conservative and one of my best friends is a full blown socialist (that’s what he calls himself I’m not just being one of those “patriots” who calls everyone a communist lol) and we get along fine. We have tons of very deep, introspective conversations about philosophy, economics, science, and politics. I disagree with a lot of what he says and vice versa but we understand where we’re both coming from. It’s easy to say that we should have that level of respect for everyone’s opinion, but most people ARE actually too stupid for that.

    I’m not worried about protests or a civil war or race war or anything that far left and far right people constantly scream about on Twitter. I think we’re in store for a huge lifestyle change for sure but it’s going to come more in the form of massive unemployment, if not from COVID then from the automation revolution that is looming. I don’t know how we’ll deal with that. I know how I would deal with it, but the country rarely goes in the direction I think it should. 😀

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    1. TheBlackhairedGuy Post author

      It’s taken me 22 days to reply to this and as terrible as I feel about it, there is a lot going on here to think about. Like you said, I’m tempted to write an entire blog post about a few things you mentioned here.

      Facts. I think there is an inability to agree on facts recently. I like to think you (the lean conservative here) and your socialist friend might be able to have a good conversation because you can agree on basic facts and differ on how to change society based on the facts. From what I see from the far right lately, there is a total disregard for anything factual. Take the COVID deaths for example. Democratic hoax? Misrepresented numbers from the states? Like, shit, if we can’t even agree on the meaning and truth of a number how can we even proceed with a policy discussion? I think this is the most terrifying thing about our current culture: we can’t even agree on what reality is.

      Sadly, I’m one of the people dreading November-January and I hope I’m wrong. I see this country being so polarized that violence in the street and Civil War #2 being not only possible, but likely in a few months. Like I said I hope I’m wrong and I’ve constantly been trying to convince myself that I’m overreacting. After all I think people just want to be left alone to live their lives, but there seems to be a lot of tension in the air over the past year or so.

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      1. ceponatia

        Yeah I agree with you here. Or we could also say that it’s not simply facts but mistaking opinions as facts. Facts aren’t as “known” as I used to think they are so I try to stay away from ever claiming what I say is the absolute truth and I’m also educated (which may sound elitist but I really don’t think that people who didn’t take a logic or rhetoric course actually know what critical thinking is) so I know that when someone says something, it’s their opinion. I don’t think a lot of people actually understand that.

        We both come from generations where we didn’t have to worry about the entire planet reading our innermost thoughts and we could say pretty much whatever we wanted to close friends. It took (and is still taking) society a long time to adapt to social media and understand that you can’t post things the same way you say them to your best friend.

        I’m not very worried about a civil war but I understand why people are concerned about it. Some parts of the country are pretty bad right now and nothing they’re doing is based on any kind of logical reasoning. I’m sure there will be massive protests and/or riots regardless of who wins the election but in the end Americans are too lazy and non-committal to take it a step further than that. If you look at the people rioting in Seattle and Portland, they’re basically just white nerds LARPing. That’s not scary.

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  2. mirrorimage76

    Well Im a liberal mainly because that third party I dream of has never happened .One where babies lives are spared but we also live in a country not ran purely for the rich mans pocket.This is how I see it republican party I disagree with 95 percent of what they go for. Yes Im for babies not being murdered and Christian values but I lean towards Democrats for the fact that they take care of people after they are born for the most part and the country is genuinely way better off .You take the trump era, Its very easy to vote against the guy .He is a dumb version of hitler .If he did not have putin pushing the buttons he would have screwed this dictatorship up probably the first month.I have some racists in my own family.You feel shame that you can be related to someone with hate for simeone who is different from themselves.I agree its alot better world when we can stay free from stupidity .Thats until we go to the store then get hit with all the retards with masks not covering any of their actual nose or mouth .Id like to know where all the 150,000 people are that died from covid are then must be same place as the 911 victims that people thaught was fake news .Sometimes you just give up on people .God says to love one another and turn a cheek but he also says to walk away if it is blatantly obvious there is no chance of change .

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    1. TheBlackhairedGuy Post author

      One thing I constantly see noted on Reddit is that if the stereotypical Republican saw Jesus they’d hate him. He’s foreign, his skin is dark, and he talks about treating everyone equally. He’s all about pacifism and peace and love. Something about “loving your enemies” too? Republicans would fucking hate Jesus, and as the party that always commands the evangelicals’ vote? It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.

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      1. mirrorimage76

        Exactly.God loves all his people .The Republican party sadly do reflect some religious people They read the Bible yet somehow miss how only Jesus is our Judge and he loved unconditionally every person.I tell white racist religious people all the time you know Jesus was darker skin would you hate Jesus? I then tell them to read the Bible again.Your wife is a lucky woman Someone with a mind to see the real world and try to change it for the better

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Amanda Hurych

    I’m sorry/glad to say that I’m in the same boat.

    Sorry because the whole situation sucks and it does not make me happy to feel like close family members are fools, trusting outrageous sources and considering themselves enlightened.

    Glad because at least the experience is shared by more than one person, and not being alone at a time like this is about as comforting as you can get.

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    1. TheBlackhairedGuy Post author

      One way I try to comfort myself is by believing that we’re not tied to who we’re related to. Like I have tons of people I like to view as family even if we’re not related. Blood doesn’t mean shit really, and I take solace in the people who are similar to me without being related, and I like to think of them as my “detached family” or something. And yes, we’re not alone.

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