A new series: Shitpost Tuesday where I force myself to write whatever in an attempt to stop thinking so much about qUaLiTy. And yes, I’m posting this on Wednesday!
“I hate my life. But I hate my life in a way that is totally different from before.”
That’s how I’m describing my new supervisor position to fellow employees. I don’t elaborate much on the “before” part, but my friends and any readers of the blog should get the idea. Depression, stagnation, feeling stuck in life, all of that good stuff. The ‘standard’ version of hating your life, or at least my standard version of it. Feeling like you’re going nowhere. Feeling like you’re not really in control of anything. Like you’re drifting in an ocean but you don’t want to be drifting, you want to be going somewhere, but you have no idea about which direction to paddle. Like life is basically meaningless and what’s the point of doing anything when you have your death and the heat-death of the universe out on the horizon somewhere?
Now I hate my life for totally different reasons. I’m stressed. Work kinda sucks now. It’s not fun because it’s so damn stressful. Unloading an airplane is chill if you’re an hourly, but as a supervisor you’re responsible for the airplane, the people, and the packages coming off it. And not to be a gloom-and-doom sort of person, but there’s about a hundred things that can go wrong! There’s also the time limit involved; sometimes we have to unload and load an airplane in less than an hour. There’s a lot of moving parts to the process, and a bunch of things that can go wrong. As an example, yesterday the big machine we use to load the plane randomly stopped working with only ten minutes left to finish. Why? How can you even be proactive with random equipment failures like these? Sometimes shit just breaks. Work doesn’t feel so much as applying any skills I have, but only flying by the seat of my pants and hoping that, somehow, I’m lucky and nothing goes wrong. It’s always shitty relying on luck instead of skill. Luck is fickle and can run out at any time.
There’s other things to do besides taking care of the airplanes. Payroll, which is a joke, and safety observations need to be done daily. Oh, making sure the employees get their required training. Sending out weekly assignments, updating the employees’ records, paperwork, etc. There’s also a million other things to deal with as well. “Fuck! I need wands to marshal in the airplane!” “Fuck! I’m out of earplugs for my crew!” “Fuck, [person] needs help over there and I have to send someone but 25% of the shift is gone on Covid leave and there is no one to spare!” I have to check on this thing, and that thing over there, fill out paperwork about some other thing, and make sure this thing I forgot about three hours ago was done properly. It’s not a hard job on paper, but everything seems to happen all at once and it’s a struggle to keep sane and coherent with all of the shit that needs to be done.
Periodically I’ve been taking short ten or fifteen minute breaks upstairs in the office area. Since we work outside, the office is a quiet, calm, and chill place. Anytime someone finds me up there and asks what I’m doing I usually say something like, “Trying to figure out my life,” meaning, “I’m trying to get my bearings before I lose my mind again.” Surprisingly, it does work. After ten minutes of collecting myself, making a mental list of what needs to be done, and what is the most important essential thing on that list, I feel much more coherent. I can boil down the what feels like millions of things I have to do into something more manageable. I think this is a side-effect of anxiety; just fucking chill and do whatever you need to do one step at a time. It’s not hard to not lose your mind, it just takes effort.
There’s been a new-hire upstairs this past week. He was injured and is on “work restriction” — he can still come in he just can’t do anything physical — so is being given paperwork by the boss to take care of. Paperwork he can take care of is very limitied with him being an hourly union employee, so most of the time he’s up there just chilling. He’s on his phone watching YouTube videos on how to make video games, something he wants to try out, and we had some conversations about that. I recalled installing Unity and having my toaster laptop barely being able to open the program.
In short, this guy Gus sets the vibe of the office. I come up stressed out of my mind needing to “figure out my life,” and he’s up there chilling. He’s a laid-back guy by default and since he’s on restrictions he’s even more laid-back then usual! His chill vibes permeate the office in such a way that it’s impossible for me to remain stressed. We chat, I absorb his chillness, I take a few deep breaths, and I’m back to being functional.
We call this “Keeping morale up,” and it is a valid UPS job description. Every work place needs a few chilled, laid-back, positive employees to help lift everyone out of the dregs of a shitty workday. Every place probably has a few, but are they properly appreciated? Vibes are a real thing and a few negative, pessimistic people (who usually call themselves ‘realists’) can directly drag the mood down from the soul-stank they’re emitting to those around them. But the heroes, the ‘good vibes’ people, they’re essential. Make it a goal today to find these people and quietly appreciate their mood-lifting presence.
Instagram: where I post pointless
artistic pics and shitty poems daily whenever I get around to it.
My other blog where I
sometimes never post stories but might get around to it sometime soonish.