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The Holidays and Work.

Oh hey, it’s the day before Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve Eve if you want, but by the time I post it’ll probably be the day itself. And I guess I can try to pull my shit together for a few hours and write a blog post. When has the last one even been?

I’ve been at work almost non-stop for the past month. Peak Season and I’ve written about it before, so whatever. Last week I worked 60 hours and this week I’m at, oh who actually knows, maybe 50? 55? The past few days and weeks have blended together into a mess that’s hard to recall. Sure I’m sober this year but with so much work and all days following the same basic plan I can’t find anything to differentiate Monday from Wednesday (or whatever). Sometimes I’ll think back to something that had happened at work a few days prior only to be met with the shock that oh that happened earlier today!

I wake up, pound a bang and/or coffee and head into work at 10:45 a.m. We sit around and play Stardew Valley until about 12:30 p.m. We unload a plane and sit around for two more hours loading it. That leaves around 2:45, then to lunch from 3-4. We’ve been hitting up the Subway and the attached gas station for more caffeine. Back to work, back to our passenger van, and sit around some more. Move a few cans around at 4:30 and we’re sitting until 8:30 p.m. And that’s what I’m doing now!

As mentioned, we’ve been bringing in our Switches and playing Stardew. My two friends and I have been hitting the virtual fields pretty hard during the past month. When we have this much downtime you have to find something to do. My backpack also has two books in it, and I’ve even started to bring a blanket into work. I mean why not? Even if I never nap there is something comforting about having a blanket around you when you’re mindlessly bored for literal hours with nothing to do.

It’s interesting to note how doing nothing for so long wears you down. I think all of us want to work somewhat and while it’s nice to have a job that isn’t too physically involved we are here to work and we all get antsy doing absolutely nothing all day. The pros like myself are great at passing time without complaint. The new/ansty/go-getter people all look like they’re losing their minds though. They’re out walking around, fidgeting, unable to sit still, constantly checking their phones and sometimes it’s nice to watch them and think, “Ya know it’s not too bad to just exist for a few minutes. You don’t have to be busy all the time.”

That was the topic of my blog post a few years ago. How being bored forces you to just exist and not look nonstop distraction. We’re all pretty damn good at this it seems. Some people seem scared of the boredom and avoid it as much as possible. Sometimes it’s nice to realize that you’re bored, that there is nothing to do, and force yourself into a Zen-like trance over your situation. I call it “forced meditation”. Focus on your breathing because it’s all you have to focus on. Look at the moon — sure looks cool — and isn’t that great how it lights up the clouds slowly passing in front of it? Or look at people and really analyze their body language. That’s always a fun little project to keep your mind busy. It isn’t too bad being bored sometimes.

We all have noted how our bodies feel worn down. My knees are in pain frequently and my legs just ache almost as soon as I get out of bed. With the cold outside I seem to perpetually feel like I’m getting sick. Always cold, always achy, but I’m not sick at all. You can tell when you’re legit sick and that’s not it. My friends are feeling the same way too despite not doing anything physical at work. We sit around on our Switches only moving our thumbs for hours but somehow our bodies feel like shit. Even worse for them; they’re about ten years younger than me and seem to be in worse shape than I am sometimes. Who would’ve thought relaxing could be so physically demanding? 

It’s almost over and I’m kind of glad about it. My life has felt like a dream over the past month, or nightmare, where I do the same thing for 11 hours a day. I’ve lost track of time and space. It’s a struggle to remember to pay the bills: what day of the month is it and when are they due? When is Thursday? Gotta take the trash our on Thursday. How many days left do I have to finish my Christmas shopping? What do I get people? Who did I already buy for? Stocks? Options? What’s going on with those? Is the market up or down? Blog posting? Well hell there’s no way I can pull myself together long enough to write one of those; my brain isn’t capable of any mildly complex thought at the moment.

Speaking of blogging: I do miss reading you all’s posts. I get the notifications, sometimes daily, and read a paragraph, sometimes two, but that’s all my brain has energy for. There is no way to activate any higher-brain functions to really read and commenting/liking is way out of the question. It’s strange, I just feel kinda bad or guilty for not reading anything. I’ll get around to it. I have that kinda nasty dirty feeling that is similar to when I procrastinate something that I really should get around to doing. Think of going to the dentist about five months after you’ve should’ve been there. “I’ll get around to it tomorrow, certainly!” and then you don’t. I’m not going to get into a big discussion about procrastination so whatever.

I hate Christmas and The Holidays in general but if that’s your thing have a good day. I mean have a good day anyways but especially so because it’s the holidays and you’re always supposed to wish people ‘Happy Holidays.’ Or something.

By TheBlackhairedGuy

I'm a guy. And I have black hair. Well not really because it is slowly turning grey. I suppose TheNotquiteBlackhairedGuy doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it? I write the blog EverythingSucks.blog as well as dabble in some freelance writing.

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