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[20211103 Untitled]

It’s been awhile since wrote one of these rambly, aimless blog posts. Let’s do that again for old-time sake.

Say it with me: it’s 2 a.m. I can’t sleep. I’m anxious. Why the hell does inspiration strike at such awkward and inconvenient times? Someone please tell me this.

It’s fun to glance at your daily blog views/visitors and wonder what the hell is actually going on. Who are these people that stumble upon my shit and how/why did they find this infinitesimal corner of the internet that I call my home away from home? The views hang steadily around 40, give or take 10 (mostly take…) but some days they spike up randomly. Often it’s not in visitors but in views, almost like one person decided to read about 20 blog posts in one sitting. I doubt it: it’s always the main page that gets viewed and I don’t see why someone would go there, exit, go there again, exit, and repeat this 18 more times. Usually all the “views” come from a single country like Russia or Brazil and I really don’t think they’re legit views. If someone has information on what the hell this is, go for it, fill me in.

Some days are easy to explain. On July 4th I had over 200 views, mostly driven by the July 4th Sucks post. Wonder why that happened?! The same thing happened on October 30th with Halloween Sucks. It’s interesting to note that July 4th was the day the views came in while October 30th had all the Halloween views. My working theory is that everyone was too drunk on the actual day to be reading blog posts by some rando.

(Halloween is probably my favorite holiday contrary to whatever I wrote before. It’s still not saying much though — I hate holidays — but Halloween is at the top of that pile of shit for sure. It’s not a serious holiday; all the other holidays have supposed “deep meanings” to them or some trash while Halloween is about fall, the end of the good weather, the end of the harvest, and cosplaying in a socially-acceptable manner. Seeing kids AND adults running around with costumes getting free candy actually made me somewhat joyous this year.)

Yesterday, November 2nd, a day I’ll note as being totally unnoteworthy, had another spike in views. Up to 70 within a few hours! The top post: Comcast Sucks: The Worst Company Ever.

Let your brain ponder over that one because it’s fun. “Why that post? Why today? My internet was acting up — when isn’t it? — wonder if it’s a nation-wide thing. Did Comcast announce they’re partnering with Facebook META (lol) to finally put this crumbling society down like the sick dog it is? Take it out to pasture and give it the ole 12-gauge to the back of the head? What did they do?

I didn’t try to actually look anything up. It’s probably coincidence — most things are — and it’s much more entertaining to endlessly ponder what atrocity Comcast committed this time. Maybe they admitted they killed Harambe?

(Note: One of my favorite ‘theories’ [more like yet-to-be-disproven hypothesis…] is that the horrific slaying of Harambe in 2016 was what took our universe into some hellish parallel dimension that we’ve been in since. It’s the single act that rocked the fabric of space and time enough to jolt us to a similar, but very different, strange, and horrible existance. We’ve been here since, and we’ll never ever return back to the ‘good ole days’ pre-Harambe. Let’s just call 2021 ‘Year 5 of the P.H. multiverse branch’.)

The Comcast post is my most-viewed post on most days. It’s usurped the old heavy-weight champion of the blog Watermelons Suck and I know I’ve mentioned that post in an unbelievable way more than once. My most viewed writing of anything I’ve ever written is about Watermelons. The thing you grow in the garden. The crop that prints money in Stardew Valley. Here I am trying to wrote actual stories with meaning and posts that can sometimes help people (among all the personal bitching/rambling) and people want Watermelons. Along side diatribes about Comcast apparently.

But really, Comcast sucks. I’ll stop myself right now before I get carried away…WAIT! Here’s an example. It’s now 3:24 p.m., Central time, and I’m literally trying to post this right now, but our fucking internet again. Let’s see when it actually gets posted. Any delay beyond that is thanks to Comshit. Nevermind, it worked lololol

It’s also fun to note how artists of all types are seemingly clueless as to what they find good versus what others find good. I’m talking Black Sabbath and “Paranoid”. Smash Mouth and “I’m a Believer”. Shit like that. Blogging is no different. Just write as good well as you can and hope and pray that people like it. And be ready for people to like stuff that you find awful because it’s nearly impossible to write a purposefully good blog post.

This seems like an awful way to end this but it’s fine. Whatever. I’ll have that Anxiety Protips post up on Friday for realzies this time.

Instagram: where I post pointless artistic pics and shitty poems daily whenever I get around to it.

My other blog where I sometimes never post stories.

By TheBlackhairedGuy

I'm a guy. And I have black hair. Well not really because it is slowly turning grey. I suppose TheNotquiteBlackhairedGuy doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it? I write the blog EverythingSucks.blog as well as dabble in some freelance writing.

3 replies on “[20211103 Untitled]”

It’s a popular one on Reddit and that’s where I stole it from. There’s a few more too: the world really did end in 2012 like the Mayans said (or something) and were currently in hell. But that’s the only one I can think of now!

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